Trust is a verb. It requires more than empty faith and goes beyond a fabricated confidence. And it isn’t just something to talk about to make ourselves feel secure…it’s a living and active commitment.
But for some reason, this seemingly obvious logic escapes me far too often when it comes to putting my trust in the hands of the Creator. To surrender my worries fully and completely–to submit my heart to my Father with outstretched arms–is something I fail to do time and again. And why? Is it my uncompromising pride? Or maybe it’s that ghost of fear that stirs inside of me, too afraid to give up the reigns and lose control?
Honestly though, girls–why do we sit around pinning all of these inspirational quotes and verses, ones about love, faith, and trust, only to ignore the poignant words when push comes to shove? When we’re actually met with the trial and adversity that call for putting our ideologies into practice?
I’ve been reminded of these truths again this week as the season for class scheduling fast approaches. I’ve been thinking of switching my English major to a minor, and double majoring in Spanish and Communications for a long time now. A couple of days ago, I expressed this to an adviser who basically told me I was foolish and had no clue what I was thinking…
And she wasn’t exactly nice about it either. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I’ve been spoken to so harshly. Most people, for whatever reason, feel the need to speak gently with me…in a manner sometimes pleasant to the point of superficial. I think people automatically assume that I’m this fragile spirit that can’t face confrontation…as if I’m this delicate porcelain doll that must be handled with care…
I’m not, for the record.
And this advisor didn’t think so either. She pretty much told me how it is, blunt and matter-of-fact, her critical eyes filled with doubt. She tried to make me rethink my whole college plan and future and was disappointed when I didn’t know exactly to the very last detail what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
According to her, maybe I should. But as I sat listening to her nag about the impossibility of taking on two majors and a minor, all I could think was challenge accepted.
But I’d rather put my faith in an unfailing God than a college adviser any day.
Another happening of the last couple days was my completion of my study abroad application. I signed all the important papers, carefully wrote out all of the essays, and submitted that no-turning-back down-payment.
So the wheels have officially started turning and are now gaining speed as the time between now and next spring continues to shrink. The whole trust issue couldn’t have been more present than in those moments of filling out my application–soaking up the fear and thrill of spending five months in a foreign land.
But I just felt like it was something I had to do. A step I had to take. To leave my sheltered world of all things familiar and escape into a place unknown. It’s something I need to do for myself–that’s for sure–but maybe it even goes beyond that. Maybe there’s a plan for me there that I have yet to discover… But to sum this bit up with a semi-sappy quote–”We must take adventures in order to know where we truly belong.” I love that, really.
I don’t know if either of these tales really did a good job illustrating the importance of trust, but I think it’s something that we all need to seek in every part of our lives. And when it comes to putting it in the open palms of our Creator, let it be with all your heart–and not with your own understanding–because let’s be honest…
He’s got your back.